I Believe In Me

How do we know when to give up on something that isn't working and start something new that also may not work?  What if I told you that you already know the answer to that question but you're just letting self doubt get in the way?

How do I know that?  Because I live this conundrum on a regular basis.  I think it may appear differently to some people but I don't like to quit.  I give things my all and often for longer than I should.  Not because what I'm doing isn't successful (by someone else's standards)  but because I no longer feel passionate about it or feel called to do something else.  It's hard to let go of things you've put your whole heart into, even when your heart is ready to move on.  And it's scary to move on to something new, knowing you have to do the hard work of starting over again.  Following the muse isn't always an ecstatic or even a comfortable experience.  

But like I said, I don't like to quit and although I've changed careers/projects/lifestyles many times over the years I have never quit on following the callings of my heart; I have never quit on me.

And that's how I know when to take a leap from something known that is draining me to something unknown that is tugging on my energy, because I always want to be traveling towards me. 

So if you feel yourself on that precipice, just look in the mirror, find the highest version of yourself looking through your eyes and say out loud, "I believe in me."  And you'll know exactly what to do.

As far as my journey goes, I am still committed to maintaining and posting on the I Believe In Art Facebook page (albeit somewhat sporadically) but I am also dedicating more of my time to writing these days.  Currently that is taking the form of writing a daily poem on my Substack site at vlhpoetry.substack.com.  If you enjoy poetry I hope you will subscribe.  I have also created a new page on Facebook for poets and poetry lovers that you can follow entitled, "I Believe In Poetry".  

Thank you for your support and encouragement throughout my creative journey.  Never stop creating and never stop believing in you.

Peace, Love & Art,

Victoria

I Believe In Art T-shirt

I Believe In Poetry T-shirt

Remembering to Fly

The she remembered that she too, could fly.
Words & stock photo collage by Victoria Lynn Hall*

41 years ago today, John Lennon was murdered.  Unlike the day George Harrison died, I don't remember that day.  I was just a kid and the adults in my life tended to at least try to keep me from knowing unpleasant things.  I always found out eventually though and would feel blindsided, stupid, foolish, disoriented...and many other things when the truth would shatter the comfortable lies I was told.  I became hypervigilant and distrustful and committed myself to learning and knowing all I could so I could be prepared instead of caught off guard and having to endure everything that came with being "the last to know."

My refuge was music.  It kept me company while I hid in the safety of being alone.  Most of my best childhood memories are of me in my room, singing along to my stereo and dancing - imagining that the musicians I admired were there singing and playing and dancing with me.

The Beatles were my favorite band.  I stole their albums so often from my older brother or sister's rooms that my parents bought me my own copies just to keep the peace among us.

I don't remember the exact moment that I learned of John Lennon's death but I do remember making a somewhat conscious decision that I would not let it sink in.  For once I was adopting the example that the adults in my life set for me and choosing to deny a reality that I wasn't comfortable dealing with.  No matter what was true in "the real world", when I put on my Beatles records, John Lennon was there, singing and dancing with me, and that's where I needed him to be.

I often repeat this quote by artist, Lynda Barry:

“We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay.”

There is such a thing as healthy escapism.  Or just taking some time away from the stressful and depressing aspects of reality to indulge in the reality of things that bring you solace, joy and/or inspiration.  If you do that too much or do it in a way that just numbs you, it's not good for you but not doing that enough can be detrimental as well.  Knowing we can always retreat to our imagination - whether it is through music & dance, other forms of art, meditative practices, or any number of other enjoyable activities - is what enables us to face the dark, difficult or stressful realities of life.  

In fact, I often wonder if it is because I have my imagination to retreat to that I am able to accept some of the truths that others seem reluctant to see.  What I do know for sure is that when I find myself getting depressed by the problems in my life or in the world, remembering to put on some music and dance - to give myself that time to just let things go and fly above it all - is a very effective way of practicing self care.

If you share my collage, please credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall and link back to this post if possible.  You can also find and share it on the Facebook Page.

* Collage photo credits

Dancer with cat - mehdi lamaaffar

Sky with plane - Leio McLaren

Plants - Cherry Laithang

Butterflies and Bird Stock Image elements were purchased from Dreamstime

Artistic Peace Sign Classic Round Sticker
by kchippie

Shipwrecked

 

She may have been shipwrecked but she was still the captain of her soul.
Words and stock photo collage by Victoria Lynn Hall*

I was reminded recently of how far I've come, mentally and emotionally, and it made me realize that I had been judging my mental health to some extent by my outer circumstances.  Before the pandemic I had made some significant strides in my healing but since then I've been feeling stalled and stranded.  But I've only been feeling that way because I was thinking that way.  Because I was thinking in terms of what I expected my life to look like when I was more healed and not in terms of what it actually feels like.

I think this latest collage I created (above) really captures how I feel about my healing journey now.  Yes, certain aspects of my life have stalled or stopped and the world around me often feels chaotic and messy.  But I also feel incredibly blessed by all the beauty and wonder that surrounds me and I am able to allow myself to feel the joy that comes from that while still facing the continuing challenges of life.  I am able to have moments of peace even when I am in conflict with other people.  I am able to have moments of laughter even when I am also grieving my losses.  And I am able to recognize that even when things aren't going well, I can still be well; that my mental health is not at the mercy of my day to day circumstances.

That is truly something to treasure.

If you share my collage, please credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall and link back to this post if possible.  You can also find and share it on the Facebook Page.

* Collage photo credits

Ship & scenery by Stephen Leonardi

Woman reading in chair by Nadia Sitova

Lighthouse by Stefan Cosma

Trunk by Andrej Antic

Whale Tail from a Photo by Phoebe Dill

"Out Of Water" Mermaid Art 8X10 Canvas Print
by Victoriart

Keep Going

Her magic words were, "Keep going."
words & stock photo collage by Victoria Lynn Hall*

Perseverance is something I really began to grasp the value of when I began painting.  I imagine that even if we had been able to watch the old masters paint, their paintings wouldn't have looked very masterful halfway or even three quarters or more the way through.  Sometimes, when I paint, I don't like what I'm painting until the last brushstroke.  

Having perspective also matters.  You can't judge the progress of a painting close up.  You have to step back, tilt your head, maybe squint your eyes to get a feeling for how it is going and where you want to take it from there.

As I said in my, "Don't Give Up" post, not quitting doesn't mean we stubbornly plod along no matter what happens.  Sometimes we have to go where the footholds are and take a different route than we thought we would, sometimes we have to go back to the drawing board and start over, sometimes we end up somewhere we never expected to be.  Sometimes we know we've arrived only when we see the view open up before us, making us glad we didn't give up before we took that last careful step.  And next time we make a climb, we remember that even when things look rough, we can and will climb out of it if we just find a way to keep going.

If you share the image above, I hope you will credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall and link back to this page.  You can also find it on the IBelieveInArt Facebook Page.

*Stock Photo Credits

Woman rock climbing: Dylan Siebelink

Mountain Goat: Elena Duvernay

Night Sky: mohammad alizade

Never Stop Creating (Stop Doubting, Comparing...)
by IBelieveInArt

Roots & Wings

Give a child roots and wings is what they say
Forgetting that children were born with these things
For long ago theirs were taken away
- Words & Collage by Victoria Lynn Hall*

I always feel like I shouldn't write about children because I've never had any.  But then I remember I used to be a child.  I have trouble recalling my childhood sometimes but lately, whenever I'm doing some healing work, it seems like I recover a memory; like it has been sitting there patiently, waiting for me to recall it and rewrite its story.

Recently I remembered a time when I was putting on a concert for my family and some relatives that were visiting.  I was probably around 4 or 5 years old but even then I was very serious.  I planned that concert for a couple of days, knew the lyrics to Proud Mary by heart and had worked out the dance routine to go with them.  I don't remember being nervous or self conscious as the time came to perform but it wasn't long after I started, when the adults watching began laughing at me, that I suddenly felt embarrassed and shy and angry.  I stormed off in the middle of the performance like a true diva.  I don't remember if the adults tried to console me or if they'd uttered that line I do remember being told repeatedly as a child and all the years after, "You're being too sensitive."  But the damage was done.  There would be no more living room concerts.

Now I can look back and see what might have been funny about a 5 year old who was pretending to be Tina Turner and forgive the adults that were there for not taking me seriously.  Still, I wonder what might have been different if they had.  If they'd seen in me what I saw in myself at that time and encouraged me.  

Not that they never encouraged me.  I was given dance classes and even some music lessons but as much as I enjoyed them, they always gave me the distinct message that I was not good enough to be a dancer or be a musician rather than helping me to use the basic talent and passion I had to be whatever I wanted to make of myself.

But the 5 year old girl had already known how to do that.  She'd seen one Tina Turner performance and thought, "I can do that" - not like Tina, of course (nobody else could be Tina) - but in her own way.  And it's taken me this long to remember she was right.

The saying goes, "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings."

But I don't think we have to give children these things.  I think they are born knowing where they are truly rooted and how to fly.  I think the best, and probably most difficult thing we can do for them, is not let the world or ourselves take that knowledge away.

* If you share my photo collage/meme above, please credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall and link to this page if possible.

Here are the credits/links for the stock photos I used:

Background by Nathan Anderson

Moon by Ganapathy Kumar

Roots by Clint McKoy

Girl with wings by Piotr Wilk

Art Fairy: Paint The Moon Throw Pillow
by IBelieveInArt

Art Fairy: Paint The Moon Tote Bag
by IBelieveInArt

Art Fairy: Paint The Moon Tank Top
by IBelieveInArt

Truth Collage

There's a lot of talk going around about what the truth really is these days.  I won't get political on you here but in my experience of discussing political topics with others I often find that it is hard to get people to accept truths about problems for which there is no easy answer.  Many things I know to be true are things I wish were false, so I completely understand the reluctance of people not to accept them.  The problem with that is that it makes them susceptible to pretty lies which I believe make things worse for everyone, if not in the short run then definitely in the long run.

In our personal lives too, there are a lot of problems we would rather not face because we don't see a solution.  However, in my experience, if we can find the courage to face the truth, the solution often emerges - maybe not immediately or all at once, but over time we gain the clarity we need when we are willing to see things for what they are.

You can't trust or believe in anyone who lies to you, even when that someone is you.  The truth begins with being true to ourselves.

Note: If you want to share my collage below on Facebook, please do so from my I Believe In Art Facebook Page post.  If you share it elsewhere, I hope that you will credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall and link back to this page if possible.  Thank you.

Knowing the truth starts with finding the courage to be honest with ourselves.
- Victoria Lynn Hall

Stock Photo credits:

Woman looking in mirror by NIKITA SHIROKOV

Green leafed plants by stephen packwood

Lion Photo 103837860 © Isselee | Dreamstime.com

Kindness Is Beautiful
by Designs By Victoria Lynn Hall

A Collage for George

 I generally don't like to dwell on the anniversary of someone's death but having just spent the last few days watching and re-watching The Beatles Get Back documentary, George Harrison has been on my mind even more than usual and today marking 20 years since he left us seems poignant to me.

I remember that day 20 years ago very clearly.  It was not a good day to begin with and then when I heard the news...I was a mess.  But I'm not a mess today, at least not in the same way I was then.  I am much more at peace with myself these days and I realized that I have George to thank for much of the peace in my heart.

The Beatles all went through several stages of their careers, the early Beatles, the later Beatles, the solo careers and their various other projects... and John and George have lived on through posthumous releases and remembrances and their enduring bodies of work.  And all four of them have been with me through all the stages of my life since I was 10 years old.

These last 20 years, just as in the 22 years before them, George has been with me through his music and his words, his faith strengthening my faith, his seeking inspiring my search.  I even had a dream about him not long ago that gave me such peace, I turn to the memory of it whenever I'm in need of comfort.

Of course, I didn't know the "real" George and I can't imagine the pain that those who did felt when he died.  But today I just feel like he is very much still here and I'm grateful for that and for all he was while he was living.

Here's my collage for George, with sources listed below it,  Feel free to share it but I hope you will credit me, Victoria Lynn Hall, and link to this page.  Thank you:

Thank You George - Victoria Lynn Hall

George Photo by Richard Avedon

Sky Photo by Ritam Baishya - Unsplash

Flower Heart & Hands by Amy Shamblen - Unsplash

Foilage by Kittichai Songprakob | Dreamstime

Rock & Roll T-Shirts
by Designs By Victoria Lynn Hall